laura emily

a self-portrait

a love affair

with pillows! 

the practice of grounding.

change is beautiful, but work nonetheless.

I've been working on the holistic practice I've been putting together.

ordering and growing my herbs.
crafting tinctures.
whipping lip balm.
blending oils.
Stitching rice packs.

and while I have been loving every second of it-- it's important to get grounded.
I've told all my piano students over the years- you put in the practice, and music will carry you.
My best moments of brainstorms, venting sessions, prayers, heaving sobs, gratitude: they all started here, at the keys. Not only does it ground me, it's my grounding place. Stress level rises, one minute sitting at the bench (even without playing) gets me in a better place.
I am going to cling to this advice for once. Putting together my holistic business has been a dream come true, but dreams come with a to-do list.....unending list it seems.

the herbs will still be there when the song is over. 

piano is my practice. What helps you get grounded during chaos? 

today

got a touch-up on my bird tattoo. 

saw a beloved friend. 

washed every. single. dish. that. we. own. lord. help. me. 

made a god's eye while i listened to my husband talk about year themes. 

made some winter solstice tea mix & canned the end result (I'm having Autumn/Winter withdrawals). 

sat under the sun in the backyard which overlooks the meadow

lavender tea with honey. 

read half of The Great Failure, by one of my favorite authors, Natalie Goldberg.  

took a short walk with the husband under the stars (aka took out the trash & recycling). 

wrote a very strongly worded letter. 

crumpled up and threw out such said letter. 

made salmon salad. 

decided I don't know if I like salmon salad. 

sufjan stevens, thank you.  

last of the mohicans would make a good road trip soundtrack to the sea. 

refused to the answer the phone. 

learned that one doesn't flip fried eggs. You "turn it", as Mr. Husband demonstrated. 

Laughed at Mr. Husbands demonstration. Who turns a fried egg? 

I'm grateful for eclectic coffee mugs

surprises in the mail box. 

spider. I will try to love you. 

Cedar nap. 

tea tree oil shower. 

new plans and goals for the next season. 

laughter is the best medicine. 

today is not tomorrow. it's good to remember that. 

{ this moment }

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sea foam.

I feel lost.

Let's talk internet. 

Sometime during the last year this vague feeling has me choking on sea foam. 

like being me is wrong. 

in the past I was ready and willing to rebel against this feeling. 

but. now. 

i'm choking on sea foam. 

it feels wrong to be in this skin.

to speak. 

to paint.

to write. 

to cook.

to laugh.
to kiss.
to believe.
to practice. 

something has to give. 

Mr. Husband and I once were talking about how I wantedneededlongeddesired a teacher. A mentor. Gosh golly, a friend. 

to help me grow. 

because baby, this disconnect is lonely. 

anyway, internet, you'll do for today. 

Turning Bar Soap into Liquid Soap.

It's easy to find healthy organic bar soap, and at a great price. Liquid hand soap? Not so much.
Sure there are a buffet of options at the local health food store, but I'm sorry. I'm not spending $8 bucks on 12 ounces that will only last Mr. Husband & I a week (if that!).

And while bar soaps are plentiful and cost just a few coins, there comes that issue of um....sanitation.
Bar soaps serve as breeding grounds for all sorts of goodies you probably don't want near your hands.
And then there is that pesky longing for the luxury of a hand dispenser....what's a girl to do?

Make your own, of course!

(sorry for the poor quality pics. Camera and I are not on speaking terms).




Step one: Gather
1 bar soap (the better quality soap, the better end product. I used Trader Joe's Tea Tree Bar Soap. I think it was $1.99 for two.
Shredder
Bowl
Organic Raw Honey (optional)
3-5 cups of Water (distilled, preferably).

If you have glycerin (I did not!),
use 1 tablespoon as well.








Step Two: Grate away!
Bar of soap? Meet shredder. You'll be surprised how easy this is. It's a quick affair! I found the zester side of my grater worked best. It created a fine powder, which later melted beautifully. The larger grating chunks took longer to dissolve, which was fine. I was just annoyed.

Step Three: Melt
After you have shredded your entire bar (I actually did 2 bars to make a large batch), throw shreds into a pot on the stove with 3 cups of water (since I did two, I put in 6 cups). At this stage, I actually put in 1 tablespoon of raw honey (and if you have glycerin, now is the time to add a tablespoon or so). Honey is anti-fungal, smells lovely, and is my favorite skin cleaning product- so I highly recommend it!. This is an optional step.


Bring to a boil, and stir occasionally. Turn off burner once it has boiled, and let cool. If you still have large chunks of soap, keep on low until everything has melted. Once everything has melted, turn everything off, and let it cool for several hours.

Note: If your soap becomes solid again later during the process, you can always return to this step and start over. Just add a little more water, and melt away!



Step Four: Whip!
Here's where things get a little interesting. My batch did become solid again while it cooled in the pan. It became a gelatin blob of .....the strangest textures ever. Which is actually the best thing that could ever happen because it had me reaching for my hand mixer-- and whipping the mixture was quite literally the highlight of my week. It creates this strange frothy texture- Mr. Husband and I literally spent 15 minutes just playing with it, full of laughter and hand bubbles. If your mixture becomes solid, hand mix it, and keep adding water. I added up to 2 more cups of water. Don't mind the foam-texture. It will delight you, I promise.



Step Five: Store!
I managed to fill up three empty dispensers we had. I used an empty bottle of Volcanic Mineral Water bottle (which is quite literally the best water ever) to store extra, and while I'm still drinking the other Volcanic Mineral Water bottle in the fridge, we're temporarily using 2 tupperware-like containers.

Do not store your soap until is completely cool.

If you store your soap and find that the mixture had solidified in the bottle (thus rendering the pump as useless), don't fret. Fill up your kitchen sink with hot water and let the dispensers soak. The mixture will melt. Once the mixture has melted, return it to a pot and start at the whipping stage again.

Good luck!

**I highly recommend you try this. I had my ups and down with this project (for awhile I was pretty distressed over the gelatin mess I had made- but whipping makes all things better). As a girl who coupons and loves saving a pretty penny, this was a great alternative to buying hand soap. It can be used as body wash as well. Get creative. Add some of your favorite essential oils. Enjoy!

the meditation that is jam.

 
Slice. Boil, stir. Repeat.

Making jam is the best meditation I know.

I've made countless batches of jams over the year- I can work through it without thinking about what I'm doing. I like those kinds of task. Maybe it's the pianist in me. Hands playing notes while the mind is off daydreaming.

I understand the divide of mind and physical action is probably, well, anti-meditation. You certainly are not 'in the moment' when you're off daydreaming. But I like to take the moment as it is. If I need to slice 5 pounds of strawberries and daydream about the lovely trees we sat under at the coast and the way the sunlight filtered through the branches to our skin, then.....well, I will. And I promise you, I will come out with 5 pounds of sliced strawberries and a relaxed and recharged spirit.

Anyway. I made a big batch of jam recently. Mr. Husband won't eat store bought jam, so I have to make him batch after batch to keep up with his current PB&J; fetish (and as a foodie, trust me, this is a hard fetish to accept). The last batch I made, however, was the most magical and perfect batch the land ever had (not to boast or anything). I don't use recipes while I cook. Sometimes I will glance at a recipe to see the 'blueprint' but then I go with what I feel is right for our taste- not to mention work with what I have on hand. However, I tried to pay attention to what I did during this last batch so I could share with you. 

Strawberry Ginger (with mint & black pepper). This is scaled down to a small batch that will get you about a full pint jar. I almost always double/triple for canning- but when I'm empty on jam and not in the mood to can, this batch is quick and easy to whip up.

3 lbs of strawberries

3 cups of sugar (I haven't used alternatives to sugar yet. If you do let me know how it works out).
3 Tablespoons of lemon juice
Zest of one lemon (optional, I love the extra kick and texture).
2-4 Tablespoons of ginger (again, optional if you are not a ginger fan. Candied works best, either grated or minced- the smaller the better).
1 Tablespoon of fresh mint, sliced finely (optional).
8 black peppercorns freshly grated (yes, black pepper. This is optional, but if you have tart strawberries, the pepper will round out the flavors. And if your strawberries are not tart.....well, still use it! It just takes the jam from good to wonderful. If you don't have individual peppercorns to work with, try 2-4 cranks from a pepper grater. Do not, however, use plain ol' table pepper. That's just.....wrong.).

First and foremost, put a small plate in the freezer- this will be used later to determined if the jam has set correctly. 

Slice strawberries (do not wash! Never wash your strawberries. Ever. If so desired, use a paper towel to wipe off any dirt. Strawberries are like sponges. They will soak up the water and release their flavor and nutrients- you'll end up with water logged mush. This is what organic strawberries are a must. They will soak up any pesticide or gunk). I like to slice my strawberries vertically, since the flavor of a strawberry is uneven. A vertical slice gives a balanced taste of both sweet and tart. 

Throw everything in a large pot (I use Ol' Faithful, my enabled covered dutch oven for this). The strawberries, sugar, lemon juice, ginger, mint, pepper, and zest. Turn on medium high and bring to a boil. Once it boils, turn down to simmer 8-10 minutes, stirring every few minutes or so. If excess foam develops on the surface, you can remove it with a spoon. I used to do this, but the last few batches I kept the foam and it didn't change the jam. While simmering, I like to use a fork (I don't have a masher) to smash the strawberries a bit, aiding their breakdown. 

After 8-10 minutes, take off the burner. Put a small spoonful of jam on the plate from the freezer, and return to the freezer for 1 minute. After a minute passes, turn the plate sideways to see if the jam has set (it should not run down the plate, or show any signs of being 'liquid-y'. If you're not sure, run your finger through the jam- it should not come back together. You should see a clean line from your finger swipe). If it hasn't set, return to the burner for 1-2 minutes more. 

Pour into sterilized jars and store in the fridge (because I use only a little sugar compared to most recipes, this needs to stay in the fridge. It can last up to 2-3 weeks. However, you can do a hot water bath to store it on your shelf! I've had a lot of success with hot water baths, and haven't had any issues with mold). 

Enjoy, and meditate away. 

digital hell.

There is no hate like hate reserved for finicky digital cameras.

I wanted to post photos of the goodies I've whipped up today, but alas, my camera has other plans.

Perhaps Mr. Husband can get it working when he gets home.

Then I can share my goodies with you, and the thoughtful recipes that make them possible : )

sunlight naps, and the isolation they bring.

Social detoxing is a strange affair.
Isolating, but needed. This quiet creates so much space! 

Space to clean.
Spaceto write. 

Space to be.
Space to grow. 

And perhaps, my husband’s favorite, space to cook!

I’ve been elbow deep in flour, cooking up a storm for Mr. Husband.
Tonight I roasted a whole chicken. Tomorrow I’m making broth from the bones and inner goodies so that I can whip up some easy Zuppa Toscana to freeze for the coming weeks. And of course I gotta make him an apple pie- I've been promising for weeks now. Tyler is heading back to his last year ofcollege in a week, so I have been crafting all the goodies I can to give him atasty ending to his summer.
....and to lesson the blow of returning to school : )

It’s amazing all you can get done when you unplug. Who knew?
I do believe community is important, don't get me wrong. But I think I’m learning that community isnothing when your foundation isn’t be taken care of. What is your foundation? Foundation, for me, is home. And all that ‘home’ implies. 

Husband.
house.
spiritual connection.
health.
creativity.

If I let these fall through, I have nothing to offercommunity, and I can’t absorb anything community offers me. Unplugging is healing. 

In other news, naps in the sun with kitties? Heaven.

Tomorrow I’ll provide recipes and pictures of the tastygoodies the day brings.