laura emily

{ this moment }

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cheat moment: Camera hasn't been working this week, so I'm using a photo of a moment I'd like to remember of our Thanksgiving tradition, taking a photo in front of a volcano!- which is sadly covered by clouds in the distance. Um. This tradition has no origin, other than being a poor and bored college married couple one Thanksgiving- the tradition stuck : )

ps: happy autumnal equinox! Don't let it slip by, celebrate the season!

the art of nothing.

no photos today.
no stories.
today is a day of rest. I've planned for it all week.
Cleaned the house. Prepared meals beforehand. Said no to any and all opportunities for this day.
But I did grant one yes- to nothing. Sometimes we need to align ourselves again when life starts getting full and hectic; so, what methods do you live by when you need to go about realigning your intentions and values when you're stretched thin? Coffee date with a friend? Home spa treatment? Trip to the mountains? A good book?
feel free to share, friends.
Meanwhile, I'm going to go do nothing. Don't call me : )

here's to you, andrew.

I usually don't get too excited on other people's birthdays- unless they hand out treat bags, naturally.

but I'm pretty sure 28 years ago my parents made a freaking awesome baby. 

Eat cake today, friends. 

My big brother made it around the sun again! Happy birthday, Andy! 

right: my brother Andrew with his gorgeous wife, Sarah, and the cutest little boy you'll ever meet, Ezekiel.



In other news, sunrise watching?
The best medicine I know! I'm insanely grateful for the crazy beautiful mornings here in the Pacific Northwest- especially this past week.
How could you not be when you live in this beautiful mess?

 Picture is the lovely work of Jim Nieland. the peak is the lovely volcano, mt. st. hood! Mt. St. Helen (not in the frame) is slightly to the north, along with Mt. Adams. I love seeing these 3 beauties every day.

all those years my parents would tell my brother and I to go hang outside?

yeah, I totally get it now. 

and now I'm off to go make a fire on the porch, sip my tea, 

and watch the morning God is unfolding.
yay! 

the only thing most people know about me is that i make music.

most people remember me with short red hair, making music most days. 

but, 

I do other things too, I want to tell them.
for starters- my hair reaches down to my belly button.
and,
I make things.
I write.
I bakecookbrewpreserve.
I knit.
I wash my husband’s work shirts.
I vacuum.
I read.
I enjoy the scent of nag champa.
I love the escape of a quiet sigh when he’s sleeping.
I’m a star gazer.
I grow.
I prepare herbal remedies.
I don’t vote.
I used to manage a bookstore.
I wasn’t happy then.
I was sick. Now I’m well.
I gained 70 pounds when I got sick; pray for my thighs.
I hate restlessness.
I chew on thoughts- where are my shoes? Why is God silent?
I pretend to understand the game RISK.
I really don’t.

But in the end,  groupconversation centers around others. They contribute, you see.
Eventually the question is asked, “what do you do?”
I have no answer. I usually smile, “my husband is my full time job.”
the humor is lost. “Do you still teach piano?”
I used to. 24 students.
But. Life was slim.
I teach only one lovely girl these days.
“Not really, just a family friend.”
“Are you back at the bookstore?”
No, thank you. “No, I stay home.”
“Oh.”

But I sing/draw/cook/clean/laugh/love/sew/read. I have projects. I’m getting mycertificate in holistic counseling. I’m opening up an herbal business. I’mwriting a book. Tyler & I started an online ministry for Lent. I’mstruggling getting past the first trimester each pregnancy. I read thisthoughtful book recently. Did you know the Apostle Paul was married once? Cedaris sick. Tyler and I tried out this cute café in Portland, the waitress worered lipstick. The raw food diet healed me. Do you think I’d look silly in redlipstick?

But oh. They moved on to the next circle.
Someone is buying a house; someone’s daughter is teething. 

Similar stories areshared.
I come off shy, but I'm really not.
It’s usually around this time when my husband will squeeze my hand, and withthat smile he reserves for such occasions, he’ll give me a remedy, a proverb ofhope.  He promises one day we’re going tomake friends who are interested in us too.
I believe him. I always do.

Meanwhile I’ll continue to listen to everyone. To participatein their life.
To laugh about silly things their children say, and listen about difficultco-workers.
And who knows, maybe one day they will pause and say, “what have you been up to thesedays?”
because I’d really like to share why I grew out my hair and left my job.

a monday start.

Monday came. Probably my favorite day of the week.
Monday Blues don't generally bleed into my week because I'm happy for the fresh start.
Change the sheets, open the windows, go over the weekly schedule, and forecast a new vision for the coming days. The weekly practice of undoing and re-stating intentions- goals.

Sometimes I write the goals out.
Sometimes I talk them out.
Sometimes I listen to what someone else has to say about my coming week, and shape from there.
Mr. Husband usually has thoughtful insights he shares with me; generally providing clarity.
The end result is always the same: keep with what produces fruit.
because,
when I'm aimless, I'm, well baby, aimless.
And the state of being 'aimless' has never been restful to me.
so forecasting goals, short or long, feels grounding.
like the most simple act of prayer.

so,
today feels like a writing day- and I'm going to enjoy this strange misty sea-weather we've been having, with a cup of hot apple cider naturally, and write out my intentions for the week. One after another.

clear direction.
clean this space. write that passage. read those words. pearl that row, and then knit two. and laugh, laugh often.

......and if I stray from the goals,
well.
that's just adventure.

what are some of your goals for this week?

{ this moment }

this is how I found Josef, apparently an extreme couponer, sprawled out in my coupons waiting to be filed. 

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a love affair

with arrows!

no idea where this current obsession came from, but I'm digging the arrows. 

here's my etsy finds (click on photo to link to buy). 

maybe I just like the idea of being a straight shooter : ) 

be well, friends! 

working on...

i've been working on: 

keeping the cats off the banister (I think I lost this battle the day we moved in)

baking honey apple bread with cranberries (hello fall!).

taking myspace-like photos in cars just for the fun of it (don't we all secretly do this?)

planning a solo trip to this exact location for a mini-day-writing-retreat 

turning the window area into a work space rather than a dining room

working as well on patience, drinking more water, catching up on emails,
laughing more, sitting less, meal prep,
not to mention how hard I've been working on
ignoring the cleaning list
feeling guilty about ignoring the cleaning list
and well....catching up on such said cleaning list.
.....an endless cycle.

my mantra has always been 'all things grow'.....but sometimes you gotta put in the extra work.

what are you working on? 

a curious creation

this was our cheap camera's humble attempt to capture the bon fire we had last night, with the full moon rising. I'm not sure why it looks like there is a shadow on the moon in this picture; it was beautifully full and bright.

we sat outside for hours, rotating the firewood,
watching the white globe lifting from the volcano and the mountains on the horizon,
weaving through our poplar rows,
until finally-
set out on a dark blue sea, stars gathering in her wake.

and i was
deeply grateful
that
i shared the same creator as her.

i've been working hard to close the distance between creation and I, if that makes any sense.
i grew up in a culture that repeated, "worship the creator, not creation."
but that mantra created divide; a divide that isn't natural.
i believe the creator created 'creation,'
we ought to watch and see what he is doing.
so.
full moon? changing tide? gathered evergreens? mother hawk?
i'm here, i see you, and i'm deeply grateful. we're a curious creation.
if he is still working in you, i'm confident he is still working in me.

the look

it easy for me to say one ought to put aside their hurt and be the bigger person, but there are some thorns deep in my side this month that has me wanting to do anything but. I think talking about painful situations is healthy, but sometimes for me it's easy to dwell. So when I'm on a venting kick, letting every negative thought and emotion I have over these thorns pour out and consume the space around me, these two will eventually look over at me at the same time with the look.

mr. husband has a sweeter look, more of a, "oh honey, you're being ridiculous now."
Cedar, our kitty, is a bit more annoyed and is ready to tell me to shut up.
despite the differences of their look, it usually shuts me up enough to get a quick picture- and to reflect.
Painful situations are painful- but I'm responsible for how I let them change the space I reside in.
pouring out negativity to my loved ones isn't going to heal the situation.
and it certainly isn't going to build them up.
Maybe I need this sign as a reminder (so I can avoid the look all together).

i have to train my tongue better.

most people complain about situations, it's the easy thing to do. 

I guess that makes me 'most people'....and a complainer. 

I don't know about you, but I hate getting stuck behind a complainer in the check out line.
....but I don't have the guts to shoot a stranger the look. 

that's reserved for husbands and highly annoyed kitties.

here's to a day of positive thinking.
or....shutting up.