sweet failures.

artwork is by kelly mitchell.

“I dreamt...that I had a beehive here inside my heart. And the golden bees were making white combs and sweet honey from my old failures.” antonio machado

often, these evenings, I find myself dipping into ol' memories from this past year. It's easy to feel regret over that, disappointment over this, longing over there.
And just as I began my gathering of failures into a new year's resolutions list for 2012, an acquaintance shared this quote.  

i don't want to roll my failures into the new year. 

i'm going to let them be. to have their own space. 

perhaps, I'll find their sweetness in 2012, opposed to being a year undoing last year's mistakes. 

Yes, I didn't get every drawer organized, like I wanted. We didn't get to travel. I didn't drop those pounds that lingered after the disease. I didn't write everyday, or choke down my daily quota of water. I didn't get my business launched in October like I had hoped. And I did miscarry my babes again, without much outside support. I wasn't a helpmeet every day for my husband. And I often traded prayer for lamenting. 

2011 was hard. sincerely, utterly and horribly hard.
I cried, screamed, scraped together pennies, threw up more times than anyone should be allowed to, and I didn't reach my goals I had neatly lined up like poplars in the field. I have little fruit to show for the passing year. 

 ...and yet, I'm still so incredibly blessed this day. 

funny how that works. 

these white combs and sweet honey can keep me into the new year.