I feel it. This circling towards darkness in a cozy and much needed rest.
I crave
it. My soul creates from it.
saying goodbye to the light was never hard for me.
It has less to do with shadow work, and more to do with my Shadow and Self
teaming up to get crap done.
I understand how the start of Autumn is painful for many.
cold and long evenings create restless spirits.
We’re children of light, after all. Aren’t we?
Well, maybe not me.
Teeth in the grass, I pray out stars with midnight epiphanies. You can ask my
husband. I am my best during the long winter nights. I burn about in this
fertile ground- inspired with clear visions and directions. I gather, I refill,
I plan, and I create. I’m a child of Autumn, born one early October morning.
And thus, Autumn keeps me. Create. Create. Create. Build. Gather. Create. The death of light allows my own to burn bright.
I am filled up by creating a cozy home
that nourishes the souls of my loved ones. God made this pretty
apparent to me when I entered marriage. I can sing I love you, but my heart isn’t
there. But here. Pull up a chair and eat this soup I simmered for you. Let me
create a sense of home within you. This is my heart.
But I struggle to meet those desires when the light begs me outdoors to run and
play.
The sun is a great lover and I forget what I am building.
Long nights, however bring me back. Aligned with my heart. So I always welcome
Autumn with all the joy I can muster.
Making large batches of soup to freeze.
Tending the fire.
Convincing Tyler to stay under the covers for another five minutes, “because
it’s cold out there, handsome.”
There is magic here, when Autumn & Winter spin my way.
The crazy energy I can never keep up with in the Summer mornings pools together
here, on the edge of fall, and the disappearing ground meets up with me
again.
These fertile grounds allow my Shadow to SPEAK. And I listen.
Greeting Autumn yesterday, though, was
different for me this time around.
Festivities were replaced by thoughtful silence.
Just a quiet drift through moments stacked up neatly.
Occasionally the ferry blew its horn, a low vibration through the house causing alarm to the kitties. “It’s ok, babes, the ferry man isn’t here for you today.” I’m not sure if they believe me. They lay their heads back down, eyes wide open, watching me sip my cider as I rotate the flames. I collected wood from the open shed by the apple trees- tending the fire from dawn to dusk. I had a mid-day dream of Grandmother Spider picking me apart....later I watched the hobo spider spin the most gorgeous web from start to finish, wishing her well on her hunt. And as a special treat, I had some butternut squash pureed soup. On this fast I've been sticking to clear broths and juice, but the equinox called for a special celebration.
This is my celebration.
An offering of solitude.
I feel good.
I feel healthy….despite the numbness.
and I feel awake- in a way that only the Soul can appreciate.
fasting does that.
I feel ready to pull this season up like a warm blanket, and let my spirit mend
and begin again.
As with every season, I scripted out my seasonal intention card. Do you do this?
Here is what I want to fill Autumn with:
-writing down the bones.
-eat more scripture
-freeze a handful of apple pies for winter
-give it all I’ve got to Daughters of Earth
-craft the world’s coziest bedroom from the ground up.
-convince the Fitzgeralds to have a mini Thanksgiving up here with us in Nov : )
-finish out this crazy adventure that is a 40 day fast
-find a puppy. Name him Thor, god of thunder…because that is what you do.
-transform this space into a blog I am happy and proud of. Not there yet.
-show more appreciation
-trade out Tyler’s socks for new ones
-complete a knitting project for once in my life
-pay off the car ($1800 left to go. I. Can. Do. This!)
-build my apothecary back up in this new home
-be a source of encouragement
-get in my daily quota of water
-kick the diet coke habit (pray for me?)
-create sacred mornings intentionally
-Keep a seasonal altar
-send Beth a buffet of robot drawings.
-tell my husband daily that I see God in him.
-get my husband to the beach for our Halloween anniversary.
-find a spare freezer for the garage.
-pumpkin soup. Often, and always.
-tattoo a buffalo on this flesh of mine.
-Thanksgiving Volcano tradition.
-offer prayers for you & me.
this is where I am. This is my prayer for this Fall-ing downward.
What are you wishing for Autumn?
and how can I support you in this, love?
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Don't forget- today is the LAST day of the Autumn Equinox sale! Do something healing and expanding for yourself this Autumn, and reserve a seat in Daughters of Earth session! Community of women to support you in our efforts to drink more water, get in sunlight & earth, and plenty of sleep! Two weeks of amazing self-care, which really, is what Autumn is all about! :)
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