Do you know what fills you up? What replenishes your soul, encourages you and holds sacred space for your wellbeing? What motivates you and brings you into alignment with your energetic address?
Well I don’t.
I thought I did. But it burned me up and left a contentious corpse, willing to eat ashes and sing curses. A skeleton woman that hadn’t been fished out of the sea yet. And so, as you saw yesterday, I wrapped it up with all the love and compassion I could muster, and buried it under the Japanese Windflowers by the apple orchard. A very real beacon that guided me out if my rocky teens and early twenties- but a full manifestation never came to pass, and I was detaching from every person I knew while I sought it out and fought for it.
I find myself today tracing the thread tied around my wrist as a reminder that the work is done, and it is ok to move past it. So what does fill me up? What basket do I need to take up and start gathering the tools to sustain me throughout winter? I’m working to uncover four baskets- and aside from what I released in the orchard, I’m only aware of one- Cozy. Without a spirit of coziness, my bones dry up and my words are muted. I need to weave a spirit of coziness throughout my day to be in alignment with my best intentions.
It looks like tending the fire. Chai tea on the couch, under a mess of quilts. Cozy blankets in every room. A clean and organized surrounding. Homemade soups and crusty bread always on hand. Comfortable clothing- including a divine bra that actually fits right. Supporting and hosting relationships that are sources of encouragement and laughter without tension and judgment. Coziness to me is rich in holiday traditions, with slow paced and thoughtful warm evenings by the fire. Coziness is tangible and attainable- and it fills me up.
But my cozy basket is totally empty right now.
and I’m feeling it. Hard.
This, friend, is my work right now.
what fills you up? What baskets do you carry for self-care?
ps: today is day 16 of my fast. But Mr. Husband says it is day 17....counting has never been my forte, but I'm still unsure over who is right. Will you tell me? My first full day of fasting was Sept 10th.
....only I would count wrong during a fast. :)