Starvation feels like Waking Up on every level.
Intentions for an extended fast go out the window when starvation starts to set in. Usually that would be around day 40, but my water only fasting ushered in my Old Friend sooner than expected. Spirit & Shadow quite literally lay down a new grid when starvation moves in, requiring one to address what they offer. Too weak to make changes just yet, there is nothing to do but Sit With It.
Sitting in prayer and meditation seems to make up the majority of my day, with sobbing and pornographic retellings of my dinner wish list each night on the phone with the husband.
Starvation is a scary place to be, and it requires an intuitive process to avoid fatal results.
I might sound calm describing it, but in my head I’m praying in pure profanities, hardly able to host a conversation without tears and snot.
three days tilting my way, and I still have a lot to Sit Through.
I don’t know if it’s bad manners or not to ask for a vigil
of sorts, but keep a candle lit for me?
Your prayers & light quite literally are feeding me.
