laura emily

fire soak.

sometimes, I just need a good fire soak. 
each and every rare rainless sky has been met with tossing another log and handful of gorgeous herbs (because a good fire likes to dress up) into the fire pit. 

dear past laura emily, it is so freaking simple. tend the fire. say the prayers. love that husband silly. 
that is my career/religion choice.  

april.

april is a quiet meditation of sky and earth for me. These long months indoor are cracking with more and more soft morning sunrises spent by the fire pit in the back field. I was excited and looking forward to embracing this month- thrilled to open the windows to Spring- when I got the phone call no wife looks forward to:

“Honey? Today is…kind of…my last day here…at work.”

Now, I tried to be brave. Really. I did. And I think, for the most part, I did good. But. I just spent our May rent money on investing back into my business. And previous to that, we decided to dip into our emergency fund to fund my new business to avoid the credit/loan world. I was kind of counting on his paycheck to pay for the roof over our head. Luckily Tyler kept going so I had time to wipe my tears and reassure myself that we would not be eating stale noodles for the next month. He went on to explain how his boss was promoted to manager- which he told me several days ago- she announced she was making some changes. Since she knew that he was about to graduate from college, she didn’t expect he’d stick around for long, so she thought they ought to go their separate ways today.

So. I was shaking.
and I was crying…silently. Choking down every hiccup. 

He sounded broken and raw and embarressed. No matter how scared I was, he needed a cozy pep talk. So I pulled up my big girl undies and then I proceeded to put on my best chipper voice and said the only thing that came to me, “well, that’s great handsome, right?” I mean. After all, he is graduating in a month and now he had more time to look around for a job within his degree….right? And we could make rent if I pushed a sale with the shop, picked up more piano students, and ate nothing...for the month...right?

Whatever. I was shaking still and biting my lip so hard I drew blood. 

But he was confused. “What? What is wrong with you? Why aren’t you crying?”

Hello? I’m bawling over here. But those tears quickly dried up and turned into pure rage when he said ever so quietly, and rather smugly, “April fools.”

What? WHAT? The queen of pranks- and he pulled an April fools on me? WHAT?!
In fact, I didn't pull any pranks on him because of the school/work stress he was under. In fact, he actually said several days ago, "we don't have time or energy for such nonsense this year."

....WHAT?! 

I should have hung up on him. I almost threw up all over the bed with nerves due to a silly little prank? On clean sheet day at that?!  What....?

I yelled for a solid five minutes. He didn’t hear a word. He was laughing too hard- which was actually a beautiful sound to hear. Grounded me like nothing else. The poor man has been stressed with job hunting and final projects before he graduates- I’m happy he had that moment. Really I am. But despite that, I am getting revenge. That's marriage, baby. So I’m sad to hear that he decided he would not walk for his degree due to his lame excuse that he is 24 and that’s for the "younger kids." A graduation ceremony would have been the perfect set up for a juicy revenge moment....I was thinking an over-the-top 80's outfit, blow horn, and a large sign that lights up. 

I am planning his graduation party with friends and family, however.
I’m thinking an English tea party. You know.....manly. :)

if you know any good pranks, send one my way. The last good prank we pulled, was switching all the picture frames -wall or table/shelf- upside down at my parent's home. Took forever. I remember once for april fools my brother and I took off all the labels to the can foods in the pantry. My parents didn't mind. After all, it was probably amusing to watch my brother and I try to open up a can of tomato soup for lunch only to find "cream of mushroom, again?" 

anyway,  Down to business: April Intentions
indulge in sitting around the fire pit.  
sage more, get tense less.
clean more, make mess…less.
go all out for easter with my first ham (recipes, anyone?)
love harder.
get orders shipped out quicker, and prettier. :)
indulge in diet coke, just this once.
hands in the dirt. No excuses.
admit that crying, sometimes, is a decent answer.
organize the coupon binder.
write daily, here in this space.
speak fluent encouragement.
…and naturally, make Tyler scream like a girl. It’s only fair after his april fools joke.

What is April bringing you?  

what Saturday brings.

laura emily1. 
daffodils 0.

better luck keeping your pretty little heads next year, cuties.

 saturday also brings my favorite souls teaming up to take my spot on the bed. 
'this moment' won't pass I guess.  

it's almost like they don't realize I make the food they eat. Or that I just murdered the spring daffodils. 
I want my spot and I got a mean bite today. Household, beware. 

and finally, saturday brings a goodbye to a large pile of orders- all ready to meet their new homes. 


sitting in gratitude for this day. 
playing catch up with sleep. 
moving the treadmill from the garage to the living room.... bittersweet. 
indulging in sweet potato chili. 
catching up on all my lovely blogs (YOU!). 
and depending how risky I feel, I might vacuum the inside of the couch.....might. 

enjoy your saturday. :)

{ this moment }

this is cedar in my spot on the bed with a smug look like she owned the place last night. 

this is me attempting to move Cedar, who decided I was actually, in fact, petting her divine-ness. 

this is Cedar for the win.

 it was a dirty move- she knows the power of her cuteness.

I slept with my feet hanging off the bed and a smug kitty at my head. 
...hopefully this moment won't repeat.  

textures & light.

I was never a keeper of stories. 
a good friend, or honest sister.
lips dry and heart numb, I can barely remember the hymns.
but what I do have is this- light and textures.
and a faith in a god who creates them; wonderfully so.
and when the light lifts and dips just so, I see a small glimpse of a life larger than this.
these walls.
these hands.
these dried out complaints that I gave up yesteryears.
textures & lights seem to be the only church I'm willing to sit in, these days. 

in 2011, Tyler and I felt strongly that it would be a year of foundations. We didn't realize what that meant at the time. We pictured strengthening our values, our goals. Getting physically in shape and creating a system- a foundation- to progress. 

What really happened was all the foundations we had slowly built up to that point in our lives -or were laid for us- were about to crumble away. And I certainly mean everything. Moral, spiritual, emotional, career, financial, relationship beliefs and goals were chipped away- sometimes in large chunks that left breathless and stunned. We both felt it was the hardest year of our life- undoing everything with shaking fingers- long nights on the couch talking out what we were chewing over- screaming, sobbing, ignoring, and so much anger as we reshaped the clay of who we were and where we were going.

These past few months, here in 2012, have been quiet although there have been a few aftershocks while we tried to slip back into old habits. 
As our previous foundations rolled away, we thought we'd build up again with a new set of standards, tools and lessons. But here we are,  feet firm on the cold earth, with no idea what we're doing- and I literally feel the swell and pull of god taking in a deep breath of relief. "Finally, you're here." 

I don't think we'll be building a new foundation anymore. 
the ground moans and shifts and ripples out, changing form by daylight to night. Who knew? 
this is where I need to be. 
I'm happy to be in this place- even if no one around us undestands our choices. 
...or lack of choices. Security and foundations can look mighty fine for some other folks. 
but, 
the texture and light here are the most sincere prayer I can offer.
and for once, I know it is enough just to notice and delight. 

yeah, I'm here. Cold earth beneath my feet, I'm here. 

plant people.

Carving more time to meet the sky and dirt each day.

Although the rain is back. I shouldn’t be surprised. This is western Washington, after all.  

So I’ll greet the rain as an old cherished friend. I might gossip behind his back about how he lingers a bit too long, but I enjoy his melodies he spins through the evergreens, and the faint scent of the sea he carries.

So, with the rain at my back, I dug into some soil to hang with the plant people. 

The first batch of herbs. Another to follow next weekend, when the weather should be slightly warmer. My favorite of this current batch is the catnip. Catnip isn’t just for the cats, although I do have to fight Josef and Cedar to get a cut of catnip for myself. Catnip is part of the mint family- it grows and SPREADS extremely well. If you’re shy about growing something, start with catnip- it is almost impossible to fail at growing for you and it has so many great uses. It provides a wonderful base for teas, is a lovely insect repellent, is antifungal, and works as a great mild sedative and sleep aid. I love the folklore that surrounds catnip- certainly worth looking into if you’re curious about such things.

Apparently my daffodils are the only daffodils in southwest Washington that are taking their ol’ sweet time opening their eyes. My theory is that they remember how I harvested their pretty heads last year for my tabletop. Flowers, in case you didn’t know, do not forgive lightly. I gave them some cornmeal as a peace offering, but who are we kidding? The shears are already sharpened, and the vase freshly washed. 

can you spot the duo of coyotes that visited us? They were much closer, but by the time I got my camera, they jumped into the meadow behind our field. Watching them dance about made my day. 
coyotes have been popping up for us left and right, holding messages close to the chest.
 
the skies are bleak, but spring is spreading with these joyful moments nonetheless. My bones can feel it.

what herbs will you be growing this year?  

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in other news: did you see this post, yesterday? Amanda, who authors one of my faovrite blogs, The Habit of Being, highlighted and reviewed some of my products from Good Earth Living, and included a discount code for the shop. Made my day. :)

hunting down some 'wild' today.

hunting down some wild today.
some slice of adventure.
first sunny day in ages, it seems. SUN.
Celebrating with the fire pit tonight; pulling out the drum- and I just might howl, palms up.
all this formalness filling my days is starting to make me itch.
which usually means a night of dancing nude outside is in order.
Maybe I can get the husband to join me this time. 

sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do to feel alive again.  
start being the Baba Yaga. 
how do you indulge your wild side?  

{ this moment }

blog share via soulemama. 

i can be a storm season all by myself.

I know I say it a lot, but goodness, I love the storm season. Sitting at the window that looks over the meadow, yogurt in hand (with far too many toppings, but I'm not ashamed), apples, iced Nettle tea (husband drinks it to keep the allergies at bay....I drink it because I swear it's Spring in a cup)- watching the barn cats pounce at a mouse that I'm sure is in their head only. I'm cozy over here. We don't mind the rain, nestled in the evergreens. We're a wet state, yes. But when the sun does roll around in his timing, he has some pretty lush greens to dance about with. 

I can wait until then, watching the storms roll by. Dipping my apples in my too-many-toppings-yogurt. 
like I said, I'm not ashamed.  I need the extra sweets, I'm moody. 

I've been pretty short the past two days. Maybe it was the increase of orders. Or perhaps it was Tyler's crazy schedule with school and work, never getting a chance to talk or check in with each other. I knew I had a problem when I burst into tears over an auto insurance commercial I heard from the other room. Here's to hoping the storms carry out the tension in my shoulders- I know I'm creating it, but I could use some extra help lifting it. 

today I'm resolved to taking time outs. 
taking a long walk. I'm craving some fresh air. 
smooching that husband like a first date.
dusting and vacuuming- which seems to zap half of my bad mood/energy on its own.
fasting from negative complaints that I lay on myself.
hot bath- no shaving, thank you very much.
and eating healthy for the extra support. 

... but the extra yogurt toppings don't hurt. :)

xo.  

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update: the storm today brought in snow and ice. Not just a few flakes- we're talking about inches. I think this might be the first time I've experienced snow past early February. I'm going to take this winter leftover as a sign that Mrs. Moody over here needs to get still, grab a blanket and hot cup of cocoa, and just be. 

last day of the Spring Sale

Last day of the Spring Sale, to get 30% off everything in the Good Earth Living shop. 

I've been excited to see how many tinctures are going out. I know capsules are easy to take, but tinctures are much more efficient and with rapid results; there are few things I take capsules for anymore. Tinctures have replaced all our medicines. Is good health without the harmful side effects possible? Yup! Meet Mr. Tincture. These tincture souls are quite the charmers. I'm happy these shy souls are finding their place in your homes. :)

Another big hit with the Spring Sale has been the custom nutrition program. I love creating packages and orders for people, but I absolutely ADORE working with sweet souls to build something special. The CNP is still in its introduction price, but it will be going up in April from $34 to $45. Use the discount today to grab a great deal while you still can!

Here's a box of some of the free goodies waiting to be tucked inside orders from last night: Salt bath samples, Hazelnut lip balm in a round tin, detox clay mask, dried lavender & pink roses here and there, when the package limit allows. I've had to tape order boxes really good to hide the bursting seams. 

I'm having so much fun putting these packages together for you- blending, sifting, pouring and finally, wrapping. My living room, however, is itching to be picked up from the Spring Sale madness.

....it will have to wait another day or two. But goodness, does it smell good in here! A blend of bergamot and lemongrass. Love. Spring is definitely here.  

30% Discount code, SPRING2012, expires tonight at midnight.
Don't miss out on the Spring Sale, friends!

(ps: sorry I haven't been able to get around to your lovely blogs this week so far! I've been so busy with keeping up with orders that I've yet to put a bra on since Saturday...which lets be honest, it's pure bliss. Returning to the straps might break my heart when I run to the Post Office later today).